#198 what for?

seriously this whole thing is getting way out of hand. what's up with all these..

#197 Get it right

ve been watching ep 16 again haha cos i wanna listen to the songs but apparently i didn't copy it into my comp! no self control i swear i'm supposed to be doing work now not using comp :/

but anw, rly like this song by Lea Michele in Glee :) touching much, really.

What have I done? I wish I could run
Away from this ship goin under
Just tryin to help out everyone else
Now I feel the weight of the world is on my shoulders

What can you do when your good isn't good enough
And all that you touch tumbles down?
Cause my best intentions keep makin a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow

But how many times will it take?
Oh how many times will it take for me
To get it right
To get it right

Can I start again, with my faith shaken
Cause I can't go back and undo this
I just have to stay and face my mistakes,
But if I get stronger and wiser, I'll get through this

What can you do when you're good isn't good enough?
And all that you touch tumbles down?
Coz my best intentions keep makin a mess of things,
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me to
Get it right?

So I throw up my fists, throw a punch in the air,
And accept the truth that sometimes life isn't fair
I'll send down a wish and I'll send up a prayer
And finally someone will see how much I care

What can you do when you're good isn't good enough?
And all that you touch tumbles down?
My best intentions keep making a mess of things,
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many times will it take? Oooh
How many times will it take for me
To get it right, to get it right

need to get back to work now. i have alot of boxes to check on my to-do list this 'long' weekend. 'long', pfft -.- so annoying seriously 1 more day does not mean we have alot of time to do our work right :/ sighhhh. and how on earth do some people say tht they go out every day but still can finish all work? rly -.- uh i think, only mab can do it!

bye. heading out in approx 3 hours, need to cram work naoooz! :(

#196 slack mondays!

slack mondays feel goooood :) sigh but tmr's gonna be a long day, w chem spa some more so sooooper sian.

uhm, i rly don't like you. must keep saying this. anw not many people read my blog so it's okay to post this i guess. stop trying so hard. i'm kinda repeating everyth from my previous post but whatever hehe. i know it takes 2 hands to clap and all but i rly rly rly still don't like you. not just cos of those stuff but its just everyth abt you i guess.

whatever i should shut up abt it i guess :/

can't wait for good friday holzzz anw :) churchy church, like finally uh! plus stayover i think? and and shopping too! excited only i can't wait.. but sat have to go msia, my whole wkend kinda busted alr hahaha.

sian bio test on monday. this thurs got thermochem test booooo! :( i think i am so so so screwed haha cos i kinda referred to mab's tut for alot of qns no impression of how to do any alr-.-

okay nvm incoherent post cos i'm sleepy nightss! it was a slack weeknight :)

#195 mad sleepy i tell ya

long tiring day i'm mad sleepy seriously.

and i've got something to say.
I DON'T LIKE YOU. period.

every aspect of you.. i think tht you're just quite fake and ridiculous and everyth rarh. i wonder if anyth you say is even true. and you're th reason stuff are hidden from me. well maybe's its not totally your fault but SO WHAT. i put th blame on you idc-.- bitchhh

sigh trying hard not to care but its proving to be so damnnnn difficult i swear :(

i need to shop, pronto.

anw rly thankful to you for helping me even get to bed to sleep last night haha last night was difficult i swear. but got through it w your help c:

#194 i'm a loser who can't control her emotions

anw, just finished watching Up again :')

and and i only just realised that there are only 10 of us left in LT4 for chem lecs. Jinni, Elis, Chantalle: WE MUST GO TO LT5 AFTER MIDS OKAY!!

fri was a badddd day cos i felt so damn horrible i wanted to vomit, had headache and tummyache toooo. worst thing on friday: I COULDN'T NAP EVEN THOUGH I WAS ON MY BED W EYES CLOSED FOR AN HOUR WTH. worst feeling in life ever. want to sleep so badly but cannot. plus, PIA GOT OUSTED WTF SO ANGRY i am not going to watch american idol anymore zz the whole results thing must have been rigged or sth. yeah so tht's why my friday was so damn horrible :(

sat crashed at nick's for awhile, then headed to tamp then jo's hse for prac haha super dumb please we barely sang anyth hehe!! just talked. and talked some more.

okay and tdy i've just officially wasted the whole entire day urgh. still need to do AQ, summary, abit of chem MCQ, math assignment (parts tht idk) blabla............ i only plan to finish AQ tnight haha.

anw felt so so so horrible last night and the night before cos of sth else also SIGH. so irritating i wish the feeling will just go away :< and Chantalle alw the one i rant to uh thanks haha. i super bipolar lor anw, resolved and 5min ltr couldn't take it alrr! :D:

OKAY TIME TO DO AQ GRR. BYEBYEBYE.

#193 take a leap of faith,

and jump.

got back all my results, DSUUB. B is nth anw its only GP not H2 okay but i'm thankful that at least i managed a B i guess :) but the Us have got to go, srsly.

need to catch up w all the things i've been lagging in (ATTN: MATH, econs) and i gotta stop being so restless and unattentive in class cos i ain't got the brains to simply study on my own and get everyth right.

anw i've been super irritable the whole day, thanks to one single person. tmr i'm still gonna be irritable i think. cos i'll be cranky due to lack of sleep. damn you, math elearning. i didn't learn anyth at all cos i was just in a hurry to complete the copying-.- but imma read you soon and understand so that i can do well in math!!

gonna strive, cos i've a new goal: to surpass you. bitch.

#192 pointless,

my life seems pointless now, i feel like i have nth much to live for. maybe its just the way JC life is making me feel? i really don't know uh.

and some stuff just make me feel so damn disappointed. like, i had hope tht it won't happen uh. but it did again anw-.- and what someone told me is so true. idk why you're even doing this. it seems like you are just one B who wants to act mysterious. i guess next time i'll just take it tht anyth you say is fake and its pointless for me to even ask cos it's probably lies. irony, huh. you knew tht it would hurt me but you still initiated anw, bitch.
whatever. i feel so so so dead today although i've slept so much since ytd till tdy. why?

i need to focus on my priorities and not g.a.f. about other things tht will make me upset although i know i'll still get affected in the end.. why do i have so many issues. i feel like i'm fat like a pig now too cos i keep eating whenever i feel upset. it's not to the extent of binging or anyth close uh, but its enough to make me fat.

i need a good distraction, sth tht will make me take my mind off anyth and everyth tht's troubling me.

and there are some things tht people will never know, ever.

i feel like i'm an angsty teen against the world.