#152 AHHH/ IT'S OVERRR!

zomg was supposed to wake up at 8 AND START STUDYING CHEM (i don't know a shit abt chem bonding damn terrible at it too failed th last test like *!@% alr) but i got distracted by OTHER STUFFS when i wanted to log on to IVLE & now i'm here blogging, aft my latest distraction. huge distraction, SWEAR i'm never ever gna fall for tht distraction again, during times when i need my focus

I NEED TO STUDY NOWWWW~ chem bonding redox gases at least! NOW NOW NOW! 1 hour left before i need to prepare (lunch, bathe, slack--again)

BYE. i hate wasting time thinking abt useless stuffs.

[ADD ON, ITS 11.04PM NOW]

okay, chem's over WTS I SHALL STOP THINKING ABT IT COS I KNOW I FAILED THe PAPER ALR thr's this chance tht i might just get 0 for th paper i am perfectly serious i think only jinni knows how it feels like. sigh, depressing ttm.

then we tried to celebrate lynny's birthday, dumb sia haha shld have snapped a photo of her look DAMN EPIC teehee she was so blur/shocked!:D hee.

'oh, no wonder you had to see doctor. no wonder you had tuition. no wonder you had cramps.' HAHAHA.

damn, i know its aft exams alr but seriously i shldn't be wasting my time doing that.

i hate myself sometimes, seriously. i just make myself upset:/

i wish you can hold me now, make me feel like i'm the most important in th whole wide world.
i wish someone understands me.

#151 i know it.

hmm.

watching WC on th internet and its lagging. thr's freaking MYE tmr. and i'm not studying. bet MJ population's mugging their ass off. zz wts i don't care alr. just hoping tht th paper will be simple enough for me to handle at least half, so tht i can pass.

wts i feel like crap now.

i need to kill the headache before it kills me. i shld go sleep now.

hmm.

anw, i really feel like crap now.
i know it whenever you lie. and it breaks my heart tht little more whenever it happens. i keep silent about it. i don't say anyth. but inside me, it all just gets very screwed up.
sometimes i just wna forget everything bad, and only rmb th good.

#150 story!

Let me just share with you the story of these two little kids. This boy and this girl, are in love. As young as they are, it’s incredible how they treat each other, how much they want to be together all the time, how they never get tired of one another, it’s crazy.

My mom works at a preschool, and these two kids go there. William and Eva. They are about four or five I believe.

Eva goes to school everyday, but William only goes every other day. The little girl’s mom told my mom that every morning when Eva gets in the car she says, “Mommy, is today a William day?” And when it is she sighs with relief in her little car seat.

When they sit in class on the floor listening to story time, the little boy strokes her arm. He tucks her hair behind her ear and smiles at her, he helps her with her coloring. This is all during a day in preschool.

I saw him at the school picnic, and he was walking around holding her hand. She said, “I want some cake, William.” He replied, “Okay, Eva. Let’s go get some together.”

I couldn’t help but take a picture of them. I hope they get married someday. They make me so happy. Even if he’s four years old, he knows how to treat a girl better than any guy my age.

sweet eh? hahaha(:

taking a break off math, though i've only completed.. ONE question! damn bored of studying alr zz though i've barely started:/ SIGH.

remember this?? i miss this so much yknow, hahaha. childhood memories.. aww.

shall get back to doing math soon, i really duno how to do any shit for math sigh. its amath all over again, just tht this wld be even worse i suppose. i really really need to focus.

C'MON, FOCUS NING!

5 hours ltr.. zomg i still haven't done anyth constructive WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME:/

sigh.

shall just aim low for now. zz. BYE.

#149 make me smile?

PRONTO.

wts. i feel pretty terrible now, my life's so screwed up:/ haven't studied for mids, how can i even pass anyth? crap lah one of my stupid emotions-run-wild moment, again. watching tv/using fb/playing neopets now, WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE~ i'm completely screwing it up lah aft this i shall turn off th comp till 11plus when i need to do sth alright. sigh.

but th tv's so distracting. turn it off? but i wna watch:/ no self-discipline, i know.

i wna eat sth nice again. zomg i'm like a fat pig alr but i've still got endless cravings which i succumb to. crap sia how am i ever going to lose weight?? i wna lose weight so badly yknow:/ but i'm having hunger pangs now. aft reading ella enchanted (again), i swear, thr's this curse placed on me: when i'm hungry i feel dizzy & stuffs and i'll only feel normal aft i eat! hahaha. as in my dizzy is more serious kind lah, blah.

and that was the day that I promised i'd never sing of love if it does not exist.
somehow, it seems really different.
do i love you too much? i wonder if you love me as much.

#148 swap the genders/ i miss you.

They have been married for two years. He loves literature and often posts his work on the net, but nobody ever reads them. He is also into photography and he handles their wedding photos. He loves her very much. Likewise with her. She has a quick temper and always bullies him. He is a gentleman and always gives in to her.

Today, she’s being willful again.

Her: “Why can’t you be the photographer for my friend’s wedding? She promised she’d pay.”
Him: “I don’t have time that day.”
Her: “Humph!”
Him: “Huh?”
Her: “Don’t have time? Write less of those novels, and you will have all the time you need.”
Him: “I… someone will definitely recognize my work some day.”
Her: “Humph! I don’t care, you’ll have to do it for her!”
Him: “No.”
Her: “Just this once?”
Him: “No.”

Negotiation’s broken. So, she gave the final warning: “Give me a Yes within three days, or else…”

First day, she “withheld” the kitchen, bathroom, computer, refrigerator, television, hi-fi… Except the double bed, to show her “benevolence”.

Of course, she has to sleep on it too. He didn’t mind, as he still has some cash in his pockets.

Second day, she conducted a raid and removed everything from his pockets and warned, “Seek any external help, and you bear the consequences.”

He’s nervous now. That night, on the bed, he begs for mercy, hoping that she’ll end this state. She doesn’t give a damn. No way am I giving in, whatever he says. Until he agrees.

Third day, night. On the bed. He’s lying on the bed, looking to one side. She’s lying on the bed, looking to the other side.

Him: “We need to talk.”
Her: “Unless it’s about the wedding, forget it.”
Him: “It’s something very important.”

She remains silent.

Him:”Let’s get a divorce.”
She did not believe her ears.
Him: “I got to know a girl.”

She’s totally angry, and wanted to hit him. But she held it down, wanting to let him finish. But her eyes already felt wet. He took a photo out from his chest. Probably from his undershirt pocket, that’s the only place she didn’t go through yesterday. How careless.

Him: “She’s a nice girl.”
Her tears fell.

Him: “She has a good personality too.”
She’s heartbroken because he puts a photo of some other girl close to his heart.
Him: “She says that she’ll support me fully in my pursue for literature after we got married.”

She’s very jealous because she said the same thing in the past.
Him: “She loves me truly.”
She wishes to sit up and scream at him “Don’t I?”
Him: “So, I think she won’t force me to do something that I don’t want to do.”

She’s thinking, but the rage won’t subside.
Him: “Want to take a look at the photo I took for her?”
Her: “…!”

He brings the photo before her eyes. She’s in a total rage, hits his hand away and leaves a burning slap on his face.

He sighs. She cries.
He puts the photo back to his pocket. She pulls her hand back under the blanket.

He turns off the light, and sleeps. She turns on the light, and sits up. He’s asleep. She lost sleep. She regrets treating him the way she treated him.

She cried again, and thought about a lot of things. She wants to wake him up. She wants to have a intimate talk with him. She doesn’t want to push him anymore. She stares at his chest. She wants to see how the girl looks.

She slips the photo out. She wanted to cry and she wanted to laugh.

It’s a nicely taken photo. A photo he took for her. She bends down, and kissed him on his cheek.

He smiled. He was just pretending to be asleep.

"You learn to love, not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly."

crap, i'm feeling damn stupid now. today's a bad bad day sigh. sigh it's impossible for me to get anything right at all. and now my plans go *poof*. no more baked pasta i guess :(

what a downer.

i hate studying. it spoils my mood ttm. what's more i catch no ball from any question that i'm doing. i hate myself for being so stupid too. manzxz. wish everyth wld just diffuse into my brain-.-

i feel like eating something really nice, wish tht someone will cook for me! this is damn random, hmm.

i shld probably get back to studying, but th tv's distracting me zz. math math math i wish i was good in mathhh! and also chem econs haha. i hate bio so i'll be glad if i can do relatively well for it. i know nothing abt it since 2 topics before except tht DNA has 2 strands and thr's such thing called Okazaki fragments (is it spelled like tht?) oh well.

i'm hungry, shall go hunt for food now.

#147 hmm.

now i know. its you, and not you.

zz, wts lah its damn stupid leh i don't really wna face stuffs like this anymore so i'm just gna try to go on with life normally and not think so much. esp when i'm alone:/

hmm.

#146 slacking, lazing.

half of th hols are gone alr, DAMN. sad much.

SLEEPOVER STARTS.. IN A FEW MINS:D

yay, haha. second sleepover this hols: so happy hee hee hee. th first one was great!(: this one will be fun ttm also right! yay yay yay. feeling so super hungry now shall go eat soon!

#145 I WANT!

OMG DAMN HOT DAMN NICE I WANTTTT! hahaha. white!
ahhhhh this is more realistic than iPhone, I KNOW:D super nice also heehee.

#144 irrational

super dumb, hahaha.

i'm feeling like i'm so stupid now, this irrational feeling's taking over me & i can't do much abt it ahh! sighhhh, shall go sleep soon!

anw this week's gna be almost all play. i said 'almost' cos i hope tht i can get to study at least a little:/ woke up EARLY tdy for nth (me & koi & maybe april) cos GPP was called off. for some reason (or maybe none), aaron did not reply koi and sean has fever so no point if only th 3 of us went on ahead to do! so i woke up at 8 for nth haha am currently super sleepy shall sleep soon ans wake up earlier tmr to make my day more productive:D

I LOST MY KEYS TOO. sad much.

catching up with nia on wed?:D heh. i miss her lots & lots:D

SHALL TURN OFF TH COMP NOW BEEN SPENDING TOO MUCH TIME W IT ALR!

#143 HUNGRY HUNGRY!

omg damn hungry now hahaha didn't eat dinner at all! gosh.

anw tmr better be damn fun! hope chantalle won't have hangover or sth heh damn stupid lah if she does! & i'm really feeling very very hungry now forget comp/shows/work (-.-) i shall just go find food to eat hee, instead of doing any of th above!

BYE.

anw, wts lah i don't wna be feeling this way.

#142 SLEEP EARLYYY!

AHAHAH THE AWESOME CHEERLEADERS!

haha okay i'm lazy to post photos still this was from fb not my camera uh.

tdy was alright, haha but i realise how screwed i am for mids. okay i think tht way everyday but i never ever do anyth abt it, wth right. tdy we had a pretty long break in schl: me & nick went ehub for bowling, lunch @ buddy hoagies! we even arrived back at schl much earlier than expected okay so good rightttt! (but my bowling sucks ttm tdy, sigh)

tmr with those dumb people!! haha hope tht it'll be fun fun fun! omg so long nv crap/rubbish/nonsense with them alr miss them all so so so much yknow! can't wait for all th dumb stuffs to happen! exclamation marks throughout this whole paragraph!! hee!

it'll be math, boring boring 3 periods chem lecture then boring chem tutorial then out with them! yay! looking forward to th later part only not at all th earlier part:/ gotta wake up @ 8.15 again haha maybe i'll oversleep. (as usual)

crossing fingers abt sat. it'll be super kj, i swear.

#141 okay..

everyth's gna be fine?

haha, had a chat ard WS tdy and i think it was pretty great:D

lazy to post photos hahaha haven't been uploading anyth for a long long time, resulting in no change in user pics blah heh. feeling really really lazy nowadays, hopefully i'll get more rest & play during this hols? yeah. i need more sleep! luckily all th lectures are at 9plus, no need to crawl out of bed so earlyyyyyyy.

stuffs tht make my life more interesting!

had sakae buffet ytd, yay.
meeting th girls(guy) this fri, yay.
cheerleader outing this sat, yay.
sleepover(s) next week, yay.

& lots more other stuffs i hope, MAJOR YAY. omg i'm so damn slack lah how to pass mids like this?! think i'll be lucky if i'm not forced to drop any H2 aft this mids..

(recalls results)
bio: passed 1 failed 1, but bascially idk ANY single thing from genomics onwards.
chem: haven't passed a single lecture test. th one we got back tdy was th worst ever.
math: haven't passed a single test (lecture OR quiz)
econs: S E S E hahaha funny results, LOUSY still.

with results like this, mids are screwed unless i study damn hard & catch up with everyth now righttttt. but i can't help but slack. lots & lots.

& recently thr has been pretty much to talk abt right!! so funny, entertaining.. everyth lah haha it just makes me laugh so much at times. man, this is random but my right eye is super itchy now got a bad feeling tht tmr it'll be red & stuffs, zz. these 2 days, without going for bio lectures HAHA i feel like my life is much more productive. (actually not but it beats falling aslp during lectures-.-)

tdy i have nth much to do, slack slack slack hahaha shall go watch some stuffs ltr: rewatching GG (maybe), or other stuffs see if i manage to dl any other shows!

anw this month thr's sth to look forward to!! like really really look forward to!!*big grin*

heeheehee ♥

shall go bathe now, then watch my shows.

BYE!

p.s thanks for reading my blog. i think if you're reading this, you're probably th only one :(