#179 oh christmas treeeee.

merry third day of christmas everyone :))

christmas has come and gone, as it does every year.

somehow i feel tht th christmas spirit wasn't tht strong this year.. isit just me?:/ and what i took from service got me thinking. 'christmas, isn't christmas, till it happens in your heart. somewhere, deep inside you, is where christmas really starts!' th christmas tht we see all around us year in year out, isn't really what th day truly means. we should all try to discover what christmas really means to us, individually :)

what th pastor said makes lots of sense :)

caught Gulliver's Travels aft service and had dinner w family! :) had christmas th day before w Nick's family too, nice.

boxing day was short for me cos i woke up so damn late whoops. ikea in th evening hehe :D

going to AMK sooooooon! gosh i suck so bad cos i still don't wna do my work :(

tmrrrr, PROMISE teehee. (i hope) going to work full day wed, will be so so tiring i think first time in ages tht i gotta wake up so damnnn early yknow:/

shall go bathe and prepare to go out soon! (pictures another time!)

#178 NO CANCELLING PLS!!

we'd better not cancel on thurs! or else really don't know when we can meet yknowww :<

okay i transferred photos from my cam to comp, finally! but not all yet tht one i have to decide if i wna put them in comp or hard disk cos all also have space-.- 300++ GB in each so where to throw all these things?

anw went for 85 tdy!! thought it was closing alr? how come still open when is it opened till?? i wna eat again aft my cough/sore throat/flu is gone, sian. saw WL otw home, and realised tht it's been quite long since i saw all of them eh :/ haha anw cos i transferred photos, this is a lil of what i have!

EUGE LOOKS SO CUTE RIGHT TEEHEE WHO ASK HER GO FLICK HER HEAD WHEN TH PERSON SAID 321!

HAHA TH PEOPLE WE WORKED W DURING TH 2.5/3/4 DAYS HEHE. augustine & lixuan! :)) anw these are actually sticker kinda photos (abit like polaroids) tht were printed out when we took photos on th iMac! i took photos of th stickers tht's why is so blurryyy my cam quality inferior ah hehe.

NEW LIP GLOSSYY! :) HEHE CAME FROM SWEDEN YKNOW YAY SMELLS LIKE IT CAN BE EATEN!

A BIT OF WHAT WE DID ON MY BIRTHDAY :))

IMPT NOTES TO SELF:

NEED TO DO CHRISTMAS SHOPPING.

NEED TO RUN MORE, I'M FAT.

NEED TO BUY NEW CLOTHES I'VE SO LITTLE OF THEM.

NEED TO MEET UP W MORE PEOPLE.

NEED TO START STUDYING AND DOING WORK & NOT SLACK.

but still need to playyy! :)

#177 unfortunate.

my grandma passed, on 11th Dec @ 1406 :/

some things cannot be mentioned here, but i guess it all just leaves me disappointed within when i learn of what they do.. nvm. i can't do anyth abt it anw.

went to Nex ytd haha so many people and i was feeling under th weather so couldn't enjoy fully! really hope tht th next time i go i can have lots more fun. it's a huge-ass mall! ALOT of fast food though not many new things around.. but great to walk around cos it has 2 supermarkets :)

i'm just rotting and wasting my days away really need to start on my work i noted down all th work i had to do and realised tht i probably need at least another 3 months to finish everyth, given tht i'm really not doing anyth much :(

not sure what i'm doing tmr, but i think i will go roller-blading sooooooon! :)

i will suffer so so bad next year, sigh ttm.

okay this is a poorly organised post.

i'm still lazy to organise my photos :/ gotta sort out soon! hehe my birthday photos rotting in my camera ah. plus i gotta prepare christmas presents too! meeting @ least 3 of them soon i expect, cos me and euge gotta go collect pay! :) YAY i miss them so much.

okay bye batt's dying shall continue watching tv!

#176 masterchef! :)

was watching MasterChef! :) pretty cool show, and i like Whitney lots!

these few days have been pretty awesome hehe. photos another time though i'm still stuffed from this afternoon, and am sure tht i've put on at least 5kg :( SIGH TTM.

walked on th forest walk thingy, and also henderson waves on my birthday! :) success! :) then took bus to vivo, ate at marche and watched narnia! super successful day nothing went wrong except tht narnia's not tht entertaining, though definitely better than Prince Caspian :X

uhm, ytd was alright as well and tdy was buffet+Skyline :)

now i have nothing much to do, idk why either. feels empty.

#175 WTH?!

the wondrous and sought-after iPad! (i really don't wna face it anymore aft tmr, though i really want an ipt still *HINTS*)

ytd was boring ttm for th whole day, but tdy was good! BUT NO COMMISSION FOR US 4, SUPER DUPER SAD!! so cool yknow we sold iPads to foreigners who were so friendly and gracious and didn't mind even though we were clueless about th prices discounts and everyth! super happy tht my customers were all so nice :)

hopefully th half day tmr will be great as well and i'll meet many nice customers toooooo! th game thing will hopefully work out better too? haha super dumb uh.

anw.. OMG WTS WTHHHH when i saw tht i was just....... what the hell. seriously. i have no idea what else to say!! :( stop it lah. i can't mention anyth here though, damn sian. gna sleep soon alr have to wake up at 930 tmr!!

#174 gleek out!

look at her, she's just stunning :)

watching glee tdy, ever since i got home! skipped schl tdy, cos i woke up at 12 having a burning throat + headache. hell of a way to start th day.

well at least now i'm having time with myself, watching glee! finally on to s2, but i only have up till ep4. i need th rest sooooon! but everyth's showing so slowly, i need new shows to watch. is th Nikita show nice? i think i have like, 6 eps of it or sth.. and how abt Chuck? aww man i need entertainment!

i need to do something productive with my life! everyone's either working or doing awesome stuffs! unfair much, i wna be proud of sth i did during this hols tooooooo! seriously think tht i'm nth but a fat and lazy bum :(

oh, and i wna watch rapunzel!

& yay, a special day's coming right up! :))

#173 run.

glad ttm for that nap. rest is so important :) okay this dog photo is random but its so darn cute.

i want to go to nice places! like paris, or hongkong also can!! everyone seems to be going to nice places, unfair much. i wish i was rich rich rich! if i was a rich girl....... i would probably be in Hawaii now hehe. awesome to imagine that!

okay nvm enough daydreaming.

had dance prac for th first time tdy, so dumb! mab and lynny damn retarded i swear :D 6 of us will be th best in th dance right! hahaha. apparently there's prac tmr but i can't go! so tiring sia if i wna go for tht + concert at night.. tmr's a rest day yknow :)

shall try to sleepy earlier tonight, and then i'll feel better tmr.

HMPH. haven't talked today.

#172 total eclipse of the heart/defying gravity

turn around, bright eyes.

Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I'm through with playing by the rules
Of someone else's game
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes: and leap!

It's time to try
Defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
And you can't pull me down!

#171 OP OVER.

HAHA BLURRY FLURRY I LOOKA LIKA NERD :)

anw, OP's finally over! i screwed up i screwed up i screwed up. damn eff-ing sad zz i thought my answer was thr, koi said it was thr but th teacher freakin doesn't get my answer so forget it, just my luck- FML!

meeting th girls tmr in th afternoon i think? haha it'll be fun? omg i shall just sit at th side and zb i guess i don't wna sing, seriously!

i want to go somewhere far far away, preferably a vacation on th alaskan cruises tht nick mentioned before (or whatever they are lah, its just those damn luxurious cruises out of grasp) and live a good life onboard :)

imma do i&r now. one para. then watch GG & glee! juliet shld just get retribution she's sucha bitch :(

#170 OBVIOUS MUCH?

no need to be so obvious.

and maybe you don't do it, but tell your FRIEND to stop complaining when we are th ones waiting every time it's really unfair :(

anw town for a little bit tdy was pretty fun hehe. only had dinner and walked/slacked ard but it felt good. haven't done this since God-knows-when! rooftop playground :)

saw ada tdy too, haven't seen her for sucha longggg time alr hope she's fine! [if you're reading this, HOPE YOU'RE FINE ADA LONG TIME NO SEE/TALK ALR :( stay pretty okay hehe.]

anw, photos! so long since i uploaded any :D

AWESOME ENGLISH, CAN YOU SEE? SORRY I LAZY EDIT TO CIRCLE OUT TH FUNNY WORDS. 'POUR TH LIQUID... THE MOST AMAZING THING HAPPENED!!!' HEHE.

FUNNY ENGLISH AGAIN!

anw, vivo on fri! terrible crowd zomg it seems like there are 5billion people in SG, instead of million. overcrowding ttm everywhere!

discovered a new cafe, ROMULUS! pretty quiet cafe, think cos its new so no establishment of name yet. decent shepherd's pie, lasagne was not bad toooo :)

WEIRD CONCOCTION TO HAVE IN A CAFE! miso-salmon soup, fishy and not very tasty uh :X

lagsane!! :D shepherd's pie pic refuses to load -.-

watched MEGAMIND 3D!

but rubbish happened.. th person who sold us tickets gave us WRONG TIMING. fml, second time this ever occurred in my life! :(

thankfully our new seats were good :D so lucky hehe! th movie was alright, but cartoons have generally improved since last year so its not as good when compared to th rest uh.

3D SPECKYS!

went to walk around, spent ALOT on food ONLY tht day haha didn't manage to shop to buy anyth useful sigh. but nvm, there's still time I REALLY WNA WORK to earn moolah! im running so low every week it feels horrible much.

i wna have sleepover(s)! overseas trip(s)! all these need $$.. i don't mind if i could afford any console to share w you also yknow :( i wna play also!

life is brief but when it's gone, love goes on and on..

#169 would you be there?

If I were blue, would you be there for me,
And whisper in my ears that's okay.
Would you stand by me, let me hold you tight,
And say you love me one more time.

If I feel good, would you slow dance with me,
And touch my lips with tender loving care,
Would you die for me, would you run with me,
And never look back..

Would you be there to love, to be with me?
Would you swear that your love is always true?
Would you say that you'll always be the one,
to take my breath away?

Would you be there to love, to be with me?
Would you swear that your love is always true?
Would you say that you'll always be the one,
to take my breath away?

Would you be there..

If I am away, would you still think of me,
And wished that you could hold me now.
Would you die for me, would you run with me,
All the way ...

Would you be there to love, to be with me?
Would you swear that your love is always true?
Would you say that you'll always be the one,
to take my breath away?

Would you be there to save my soul tonight,
Would you swear that your love is always true,
Would you say that you always be there,
To kiss my pain away,

Would you be there to love, to be with me?
Would you swear that your love is always true?
Would you say that you'll always be the one,
to take my breath away?

Would you be there to save my soul tonight,
Would you swear that your love is always true,
Would you say that you always be there,
To kiss my pain away,

Would you be there ... for me.

rmb this song? i think i only heard it in some channel 8 drama eons ago but it kinda stuck w me for very long. nice song:D

i need to do sth with my life uh, SERIOUSLY! im doing stuffs like catching up with harry potter which sometimes occupies my whole entire day! i shld at least be doing sth more productive like memorising OP script/thinking of q&a right?!

wts.

i need to prioritise. SO SO BADLY SERIOUSLY!

i shld be recognising a turnabout, not ignoring and doing things th same way.. but i've always been like this so wad's new right? :(

needa sleep now alr tmr i WON'T BE LATE! shall read script once, and hope it sticks in my head.

i hate what i see. allofthat.

#168 things don't go my way.

with a splash.

okay, today was kinda a whole waste of time. wasted so so so much time rotting/doing absolutely nothing at all. i feel screwed, like i'm doing nothing with my life and everyth's just gonna get wasted. OP next week, hopefully it'll be alright yeah its th last major thing to be done for PW!

i sound like a nerd wts-.-

feeling so sleepy tdy, haven't slept so little in awhile alr. tmr's deepavali! and i'll be going out hope tht it'll be fun :)

i need lots of it in my life.

have i mentioned? NO OGL FOR ME THIS YEAR FML. whole world knows why alr, stupid reason. ridiculous ttm, and its dumb for people to be kicked out cos of teacher disapproval. (not in my case lah, we were 'labelled' before everyth alr so th cross obviously came from..) there are many who deserved it but didn't get in cos of th above reason. RIDICULOUS.

i need some cheer to make life seem better.

#167 baddabing baddaboom.

CAN BE USED TO TRICK RABBITS :)

today, going to schl was an utter waste of time seriously. did nth much, and am typing out my script now. deadlines deadlines.. after promos PW really screws up my life (and many others as well) I&R first draft on wed, i have no idea how to even start typing one out.

shall envision th fun i'll have, post-PW. i really need new stuffs i've not bought stuffs for so long WHAT A NO-LIFER I AM RIGHT. so hsi-resol :(

watching movies/glee/tvd/gg on comp seems to be a daily routine for me right now, like OMG RIGHT. such a resol, me.

i miss th good ol' times. when an accomplished day would comprise of swimming+cycling+bowling+movie! hehe.

i just wna get PW over with. shall look forward to this friday. hope it doesn't disappoint!:D

byebyebye.shall.get.back.to.script.me.has.been.doing.since.eternity.ago.

FML WEEK BE GONE!

#166 hungry. and sleepy.

pretty view. i want to go to paris right now and have a summer like that of blair & serena hehe. i know that was like th start of season only, but i still wna goooo! :)

so sleepy now seriously. fell asleep on sofa, felt so good. now i just crave for more.

anw its so upsetting to know that your group is th slowest for WR in class, w all others completing alr zz. sickening to th core sigh. but hopefully it'll turn out fine cos it'll be other people marking! (not someone who tells other groups different things from what she tells us -.-) TMR, TMR! LAST DAY ALR WE CAN DO IT! i really hope that we can!

shall go sleep now alr. fam guy's showing, so cute. why charlie & choc factory become all beer brian and peter.. dumb ttm hehe they're floating away and away!

shall go sleep now alr they're farting so much on tv :X fake oompa loompas!

#165 FML, REALLY.

i am so so so tired of life. about how everyone treats everyone else. about how things turn out to be so damn horrible. about how i'm being treated. wtf this week sucks ttm okay so many many bad things happen to me alr i just wna get everyth over and done with now yknow.

and nobody even cares about wad happens to me. not even you.

i really can't believe that you just walked out of schl and nv even bothered to tell me. excuses like 'i didn't know where were you' just don't cut it cos my bag was freakin in class okay. its just cos you don't even bother.

fuck my life i don't give a shit abt anyth anymore. don't talk to me.

#164 FML, kinda.

today kinda sucked. seriously.

PW sucks cos its making ties so strained, and it's a horrible feeling:/

do i go for briefing on sat? haven't replied leader yet how how how!! its freakin at henderson sec some really hard-to-go place, at bukit merah/timah or sth:X

wrote my script from scratch zz, cos i lost th copy tht i made ytd FML. then i realised tht this pretty clip of mine broke in my bag, double FML. came home to take a nap, half hour stretched to 2 hours:/ edited slides, wrote script, surfed randomly till now AND I'M SLEEPY AGAIN. didn't even do anyth much uh so stupid i feel sad abt this cos i'm totally wasting my life away! :(

hoping tht tmr will be a better day, but i don't see how it will be uh seriously.

i still haven't approached ms hua, w kit & jason. tmr's 2nd OP dry run, i'm hoping for th best! hopefully WR's okay too.

needa stay till 5 in schl tmr, life sucks.

#163 Life as we know it

cute ttm haha! sophie! love love love her expressions she's super charming ah, really! melts hearts yknow (Y)

okay anw i left schl early tdy, at abt 2! supposed to run some errands but ended up not really accomplishing much:/ had pastamania (worst meal thr ever tdy blah) and waited around till 7 for th movieeee! GV theatres are cold cold cold i don't likey! had extra shirt and shorts around me hehe funny max i pretended that those made up a jacket.

super regretting food choices i had made tdy, fried food made my throat feel like crap.

it feels horrible now also uh sian.

oh no lappy to schl tmr, heavy max. so i shall just leave it home and just bring glee w me to schl as a source of entertainment if need be. first 3 eps shld be enough righttt! uh please don't laugh at me just cos i haven't watched glee haha.

had our first ever OP dry run tdy. uh it was okay, i guess. not good, not bad. just slides to edit, yada yada. hopefully everyth turns out fineee!

i am so so so so so sleepy now. bye.

#162 spag brained.

i'm sucha typical spag brained girl-.-

original plan was to blog & do OP, then go sleep alr cos thr's PW @koi's hse tmr! but th clever me went to do other stuffs and am doing OP so slowly tht at this rate i'm never going to be able to sleep sigh. anw i really wna change th background colour!! shall ask them tmr. cos th background doesn't let me use my fonts hahaha! can't use all th pink/purple/turquoise colours also, so sad! dull dull dull manzxz.

shall go sleep sooooon. feeling like i'm wasting my life away, once again :(

once upon a time, my life was exciting.

i'm a lousy friend i guess.

#161 thank God

i'm counting my blessings, and appreciating God now.

so thankful tht i managed to scrape through! like seriously borderline uh haha. guess i'm pathetic, relying on moderation instead of myself:/ FML huh i shld buck up, and not let MrTam/MsLee down. thankyou for believing in me, and believing tht i absolutely can do better than this. & i won't have to break news like wad happened in mids.

moderation rocks. lets me stay in 10S111 :)

anwwww, nt going to schl tmr, YAY. hopefully afternoon would be awesome? idk uh i have no idea what to doooo! gotta send sean my part now, put it in koi's comp instead of his.

my life's boring now, ahaha. just hoping tht everyth goes well! i shld just make th best out of everyth now.

my tummy feels funny :(

& i feel sad, if.................. i don't even wna type it all out cos i don't want those stuffs to happen. thr's even more but i really don't wna say anyth. i have this weird belief tht if i don't say anyth, it won't come true hehe. hopefully it works! *cross fingers cross toes*

bye gna go bathe now omg its so late alrrrr but i still haven't bathed.

i wish i have a friend who is as dear as how serena is to blair and vice versa.

#160 half half.

SIGH. sth's got me pretty sad.. but nobody knows why. i just think too much i guess, but nobody can tell uh so i guess it doesn't really matter.

today, it felt good after school. i stopped thinking so much. but th thoughts just like to keep flooding back to me FML. feeling like this really sucks. rant rant rant i hate myself for complaining so muchhh.

i wish i could always be th happy girl tht i seem to be usually.

oh well. and, on a side note, I'M FAT. ginormous, to be exact. i feel so FAT FAT FAT tdy's a 'alvina's a fat and ugly and horrible person' day.

i feel sad :(

i'm an anti-social freak. sorry for not replying. although probably no one tht i text would even see this.

i'm just hoping tht things go well this week. and forever. let's go sleep now. goodnight world. i really hope tht tmr will be a better day. i have to go to God now, i've not been to Him for too long.

but you put on quite a show, really had me going.

#159 i want to be with you till th sun falls down from th sky.

hopefully not too much.

my brain's in a mess, fml. told a few people haha and now my brain's more cleared out uh i guess. hopefully tmr will be good, i wna do lots of things tht i wna do, ie. WATCH SHOWS! sad tht i still gotta wait so long for VD, and even longer for GG! sigh.


heehee serena/damon! idk why i went to get these 2 photos suddenly to post here:X dumb righttt but i really wna watch uh once they go on break i'm gonna rewatch everyth if i have spare time!

i'm tired every single day WHYWHYWHY! i wish schl starts later. NO WAIT. i wish tht THERE'S NO SCHL UNLESS WE NEED TO SEE TEACHER FOR PW. no point to go to schl everyday till 5 right-.- sucks to be in MJ seriously. makes my life screwed up..

i feel like i have no life of any sort now. like i'm just wasting my life away. before promos it was all about thinking how after promos it'll relaxing and stuffs but now tht its really aft promos, i feel like i'm really just wasting lots of my time awayyyy~

okay enough ranting, shall just go sleep NOW. BYE.
it hurts just thinking of that, and no one knows.

#158 W.T.S

AHAHA SO CUTEE i want a mini schnauzer (not shown above)! cute ttm seriously :)

okay so here are my results: SUDDC
what i wanted: SEDED

i guess all subjs except for CHEM, i'm contented with. wtfreak man i really just wanted to pass chem right and what i got in return is a big fat U. damn, like tht i shldn't even bother to study so much for it right i think i studied th most for chem you know :( th rest are like just one day before, (esp econs thank God for sucha thing called promo package) and def less time spent than on chem.

and those who maybe fail one subj or sth, (not in MJ also counted) quit complaining and proclaiming tht you slack blah blah just to cover up a fail when you obviously got work hard-.- nvm. this is probably quite random but i'm just sick of *'s claims its damn turn-off i swear.

and now PW's just screwing with my brain i feel so useless yknow can't even do simple parts properly everyth's just wrong; really duno wad's wrong with me:/ so sorry to those 2. to th other 2, i'll just be really grateful if individual parts are all completed on your own tyvm :)

i think i'm a bitch nowadays haha. funny much, but funny-faces are just so entertaining! self-entertainment at home nv fails to keep me amused.

something's lacking in my life. but i can't put a finger to what it is.

CRAP I NV GET TO WATCH VD TNIGHT AGAIN I'M STUCK AT S2 EP 3 ONLYYY. watched only a third of it so far:/ what have i been doing w my time? my pw not even done and i'm not even watching my shows for th past 2hrs since i got home!

but at least sakae was good, i love you ♥

i really really wna do all those stuffs, like everyth tht we have planned before! maybe you forgot all those alr :( but i rmb everyth! thr's so much to do, push to hols=sure won't finish again sigh. somemore this hols MJ sure make me study if i manage to keep 4H2 wts. plus choir plus (HOPEFULLY, *CROSS FINGERS CROSS TOES* ms hua allows!) OGL stuffs schedule sure quite massive right! but i wna make th best of whatever i can get out of JC life alr lah if not my life really sucks.

okay okayyyy omg i need to get back to PW alr wts i wna sleep alr i'm so sleepy tmr i'm just gonna disappoint them again i guess so sorry. but i really can't find anyth to substantiate, google kinda sucks at th points tht we really need it..

BYE. SHALL BLOG SOON.

#157 sealed.

think i posted this before somewhere down there in one of th posts before uh. but i can't help it I REALLY NEED ONE.

feel like my life's screwed up alr. all thanks to promos.

everyone's relieved that they've passed subjects here there and everywhere, or at least S huh. i've gotten back 2 subjects: 1 S 1 U. FML ttm i swear i feel so demoralised now and although i really didn't want to *** in class, i couldn't help but *** in class :(

great willpower right. disappeared to th secluded bench area just at th corner of th class. called elis to *** somemore omggg. can't stand myself zz.

well, also got laptop case tdy, pretty! haha not as nice as th jap one uh but i'm happy :)

but i think i'm an idiot, left my bottle at 77th street counter when i was trying th case thr zomg-.- felt so embarrassed when i had to go back to get it!

life pretty much sucks alot for me now, and thr's cca + lots of pw periods tmr YAY. sigh th internet's not helping me AT ALL why can't i find any stats on vending machines in SG? :/ no stats, how to give evidence to th rabbit zz.

i want to keep my 4H2s. i promise to work hard, God.
i pray for peace in all my friends, and for myself too.
Amen.

i really need to learn to control my emotions more. i'm such a loser right. can't get myself to be optimistic anymore. i'm letting my parents down. so so very much.

i should just disappear.

#156 paranoia,

wlao wish i could look like that when i put on clothes like those.

promos in LESS THAN 20 DAYS. wts damn i am so screwed. up till now i'm only trying to catch up, not even revising much yet ughhh. i'm letting myself and my parents down if i don't friggin' pass every subj:/

i've not been a nerd but i admit tht i've been studying much more than wad i used to. just can't stand those (inserts bad word) who always say that they've wasted their time and not studied at all blah blah blah when obviously they mug super hard and night. these people will try to show that they were only slacking (not) the next day but every bit of work's done alr. i'm not referring to people from my schl uh hahaha most are just pure muggers. some forced to convert.

but thr's this one person whom i know proclaims to be slack uh but i know that's not th case. hahaha whatever i just to get it off. anw nobody reads this blog so its alright!

sometimes, if only we can all read each others' minds. life would be so much more simpler.

note to self:
stop having moodswings ugh. i'm getting on my own nervesss!
and stop being so bothered by those stuffs.
and pretend that th death-stare didn't happen.
and just take it that those were not seen.
and stop thinking about it.

but when i saw your look when you heard.. my heart broke.

#155 no.

look @ th 2 cute boys aww miss them so much wish they could come over soon :)

i really shouldn't be here right now yknow:/

ah, i swear life's been a bitch but i just gotta live with it huh. days are counting down, one by one. there's so much to do but so little time!

i wish i was a vampire-.- NO NEED TO SLEEP=TONS OF TIME FOR OTHER STUFFS! (right elis hahaha though you prob won't even see this!)

screw that hubit. irritating crap sia, whats with th rejecting of everyth tht we've produced? you just throw it back at us without telling us much about how we can actually improve on it and expect us to magically know. great job man i seriously wonder how your previous classes did..

i'm so tired now.............

GOTTA BUCK UP! FINISH EOM!
finish econs case study+ essay outlines.
vectors FOUR:(
ionic eqm tut/assignment+ alkanes.

start on revision too okay i really have to buck up now!
anyone who sees this please try and help to push me to do better okay? i can't afford to slack anymore!!

but its alright (NOT) because i lovehate the way you lie.

#154 fail.

everyone else seems so much more accomplished than me. MUCH much more, i swear.
fuck my life ttm.

#153 EFFED UP.

damn sian tdy, seriously. FML. i feel so damn bad abt my whole life now you know? WTS am i doing with it? fuck man.

then now.. nobody seems to care. i don't think anyone took me seriously.

screw eom. how th hell am i supposed to get it done?

i wish there were happy pills. just like how sleeping pills get people to fall asleep. COS MY LIFE IS FUCKED.
and i guess tht you're not thinking of me at all.

#152 AHHH/ IT'S OVERRR!

zomg was supposed to wake up at 8 AND START STUDYING CHEM (i don't know a shit abt chem bonding damn terrible at it too failed th last test like *!@% alr) but i got distracted by OTHER STUFFS when i wanted to log on to IVLE & now i'm here blogging, aft my latest distraction. huge distraction, SWEAR i'm never ever gna fall for tht distraction again, during times when i need my focus

I NEED TO STUDY NOWWWW~ chem bonding redox gases at least! NOW NOW NOW! 1 hour left before i need to prepare (lunch, bathe, slack--again)

BYE. i hate wasting time thinking abt useless stuffs.

[ADD ON, ITS 11.04PM NOW]

okay, chem's over WTS I SHALL STOP THINKING ABT IT COS I KNOW I FAILED THe PAPER ALR thr's this chance tht i might just get 0 for th paper i am perfectly serious i think only jinni knows how it feels like. sigh, depressing ttm.

then we tried to celebrate lynny's birthday, dumb sia haha shld have snapped a photo of her look DAMN EPIC teehee she was so blur/shocked!:D hee.

'oh, no wonder you had to see doctor. no wonder you had tuition. no wonder you had cramps.' HAHAHA.

damn, i know its aft exams alr but seriously i shldn't be wasting my time doing that.

i hate myself sometimes, seriously. i just make myself upset:/

i wish you can hold me now, make me feel like i'm the most important in th whole wide world.
i wish someone understands me.

#151 i know it.

hmm.

watching WC on th internet and its lagging. thr's freaking MYE tmr. and i'm not studying. bet MJ population's mugging their ass off. zz wts i don't care alr. just hoping tht th paper will be simple enough for me to handle at least half, so tht i can pass.

wts i feel like crap now.

i need to kill the headache before it kills me. i shld go sleep now.

hmm.

anw, i really feel like crap now.
i know it whenever you lie. and it breaks my heart tht little more whenever it happens. i keep silent about it. i don't say anyth. but inside me, it all just gets very screwed up.
sometimes i just wna forget everything bad, and only rmb th good.

#150 story!

Let me just share with you the story of these two little kids. This boy and this girl, are in love. As young as they are, it’s incredible how they treat each other, how much they want to be together all the time, how they never get tired of one another, it’s crazy.

My mom works at a preschool, and these two kids go there. William and Eva. They are about four or five I believe.

Eva goes to school everyday, but William only goes every other day. The little girl’s mom told my mom that every morning when Eva gets in the car she says, “Mommy, is today a William day?” And when it is she sighs with relief in her little car seat.

When they sit in class on the floor listening to story time, the little boy strokes her arm. He tucks her hair behind her ear and smiles at her, he helps her with her coloring. This is all during a day in preschool.

I saw him at the school picnic, and he was walking around holding her hand. She said, “I want some cake, William.” He replied, “Okay, Eva. Let’s go get some together.”

I couldn’t help but take a picture of them. I hope they get married someday. They make me so happy. Even if he’s four years old, he knows how to treat a girl better than any guy my age.

sweet eh? hahaha(:

taking a break off math, though i've only completed.. ONE question! damn bored of studying alr zz though i've barely started:/ SIGH.

remember this?? i miss this so much yknow, hahaha. childhood memories.. aww.

shall get back to doing math soon, i really duno how to do any shit for math sigh. its amath all over again, just tht this wld be even worse i suppose. i really really need to focus.

C'MON, FOCUS NING!

5 hours ltr.. zomg i still haven't done anyth constructive WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME:/

sigh.

shall just aim low for now. zz. BYE.

#149 make me smile?

PRONTO.

wts. i feel pretty terrible now, my life's so screwed up:/ haven't studied for mids, how can i even pass anyth? crap lah one of my stupid emotions-run-wild moment, again. watching tv/using fb/playing neopets now, WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE~ i'm completely screwing it up lah aft this i shall turn off th comp till 11plus when i need to do sth alright. sigh.

but th tv's so distracting. turn it off? but i wna watch:/ no self-discipline, i know.

i wna eat sth nice again. zomg i'm like a fat pig alr but i've still got endless cravings which i succumb to. crap sia how am i ever going to lose weight?? i wna lose weight so badly yknow:/ but i'm having hunger pangs now. aft reading ella enchanted (again), i swear, thr's this curse placed on me: when i'm hungry i feel dizzy & stuffs and i'll only feel normal aft i eat! hahaha. as in my dizzy is more serious kind lah, blah.

and that was the day that I promised i'd never sing of love if it does not exist.
somehow, it seems really different.
do i love you too much? i wonder if you love me as much.

#148 swap the genders/ i miss you.

They have been married for two years. He loves literature and often posts his work on the net, but nobody ever reads them. He is also into photography and he handles their wedding photos. He loves her very much. Likewise with her. She has a quick temper and always bullies him. He is a gentleman and always gives in to her.

Today, she’s being willful again.

Her: “Why can’t you be the photographer for my friend’s wedding? She promised she’d pay.”
Him: “I don’t have time that day.”
Her: “Humph!”
Him: “Huh?”
Her: “Don’t have time? Write less of those novels, and you will have all the time you need.”
Him: “I… someone will definitely recognize my work some day.”
Her: “Humph! I don’t care, you’ll have to do it for her!”
Him: “No.”
Her: “Just this once?”
Him: “No.”

Negotiation’s broken. So, she gave the final warning: “Give me a Yes within three days, or else…”

First day, she “withheld” the kitchen, bathroom, computer, refrigerator, television, hi-fi… Except the double bed, to show her “benevolence”.

Of course, she has to sleep on it too. He didn’t mind, as he still has some cash in his pockets.

Second day, she conducted a raid and removed everything from his pockets and warned, “Seek any external help, and you bear the consequences.”

He’s nervous now. That night, on the bed, he begs for mercy, hoping that she’ll end this state. She doesn’t give a damn. No way am I giving in, whatever he says. Until he agrees.

Third day, night. On the bed. He’s lying on the bed, looking to one side. She’s lying on the bed, looking to the other side.

Him: “We need to talk.”
Her: “Unless it’s about the wedding, forget it.”
Him: “It’s something very important.”

She remains silent.

Him:”Let’s get a divorce.”
She did not believe her ears.
Him: “I got to know a girl.”

She’s totally angry, and wanted to hit him. But she held it down, wanting to let him finish. But her eyes already felt wet. He took a photo out from his chest. Probably from his undershirt pocket, that’s the only place she didn’t go through yesterday. How careless.

Him: “She’s a nice girl.”
Her tears fell.

Him: “She has a good personality too.”
She’s heartbroken because he puts a photo of some other girl close to his heart.
Him: “She says that she’ll support me fully in my pursue for literature after we got married.”

She’s very jealous because she said the same thing in the past.
Him: “She loves me truly.”
She wishes to sit up and scream at him “Don’t I?”
Him: “So, I think she won’t force me to do something that I don’t want to do.”

She’s thinking, but the rage won’t subside.
Him: “Want to take a look at the photo I took for her?”
Her: “…!”

He brings the photo before her eyes. She’s in a total rage, hits his hand away and leaves a burning slap on his face.

He sighs. She cries.
He puts the photo back to his pocket. She pulls her hand back under the blanket.

He turns off the light, and sleeps. She turns on the light, and sits up. He’s asleep. She lost sleep. She regrets treating him the way she treated him.

She cried again, and thought about a lot of things. She wants to wake him up. She wants to have a intimate talk with him. She doesn’t want to push him anymore. She stares at his chest. She wants to see how the girl looks.

She slips the photo out. She wanted to cry and she wanted to laugh.

It’s a nicely taken photo. A photo he took for her. She bends down, and kissed him on his cheek.

He smiled. He was just pretending to be asleep.

"You learn to love, not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly."

crap, i'm feeling damn stupid now. today's a bad bad day sigh. sigh it's impossible for me to get anything right at all. and now my plans go *poof*. no more baked pasta i guess :(

what a downer.

i hate studying. it spoils my mood ttm. what's more i catch no ball from any question that i'm doing. i hate myself for being so stupid too. manzxz. wish everyth wld just diffuse into my brain-.-

i feel like eating something really nice, wish tht someone will cook for me! this is damn random, hmm.

i shld probably get back to studying, but th tv's distracting me zz. math math math i wish i was good in mathhh! and also chem econs haha. i hate bio so i'll be glad if i can do relatively well for it. i know nothing abt it since 2 topics before except tht DNA has 2 strands and thr's such thing called Okazaki fragments (is it spelled like tht?) oh well.

i'm hungry, shall go hunt for food now.

#147 hmm.

now i know. its you, and not you.

zz, wts lah its damn stupid leh i don't really wna face stuffs like this anymore so i'm just gna try to go on with life normally and not think so much. esp when i'm alone:/

hmm.

#146 slacking, lazing.

half of th hols are gone alr, DAMN. sad much.

SLEEPOVER STARTS.. IN A FEW MINS:D

yay, haha. second sleepover this hols: so happy hee hee hee. th first one was great!(: this one will be fun ttm also right! yay yay yay. feeling so super hungry now shall go eat soon!

#145 I WANT!

OMG DAMN HOT DAMN NICE I WANTTTT! hahaha. white!
ahhhhh this is more realistic than iPhone, I KNOW:D super nice also heehee.

#144 irrational

super dumb, hahaha.

i'm feeling like i'm so stupid now, this irrational feeling's taking over me & i can't do much abt it ahh! sighhhh, shall go sleep soon!

anw this week's gna be almost all play. i said 'almost' cos i hope tht i can get to study at least a little:/ woke up EARLY tdy for nth (me & koi & maybe april) cos GPP was called off. for some reason (or maybe none), aaron did not reply koi and sean has fever so no point if only th 3 of us went on ahead to do! so i woke up at 8 for nth haha am currently super sleepy shall sleep soon ans wake up earlier tmr to make my day more productive:D

I LOST MY KEYS TOO. sad much.

catching up with nia on wed?:D heh. i miss her lots & lots:D

SHALL TURN OFF TH COMP NOW BEEN SPENDING TOO MUCH TIME W IT ALR!

#143 HUNGRY HUNGRY!

omg damn hungry now hahaha didn't eat dinner at all! gosh.

anw tmr better be damn fun! hope chantalle won't have hangover or sth heh damn stupid lah if she does! & i'm really feeling very very hungry now forget comp/shows/work (-.-) i shall just go find food to eat hee, instead of doing any of th above!

BYE.

anw, wts lah i don't wna be feeling this way.

#142 SLEEP EARLYYY!

AHAHAH THE AWESOME CHEERLEADERS!

haha okay i'm lazy to post photos still this was from fb not my camera uh.

tdy was alright, haha but i realise how screwed i am for mids. okay i think tht way everyday but i never ever do anyth abt it, wth right. tdy we had a pretty long break in schl: me & nick went ehub for bowling, lunch @ buddy hoagies! we even arrived back at schl much earlier than expected okay so good rightttt! (but my bowling sucks ttm tdy, sigh)

tmr with those dumb people!! haha hope tht it'll be fun fun fun! omg so long nv crap/rubbish/nonsense with them alr miss them all so so so much yknow! can't wait for all th dumb stuffs to happen! exclamation marks throughout this whole paragraph!! hee!

it'll be math, boring boring 3 periods chem lecture then boring chem tutorial then out with them! yay! looking forward to th later part only not at all th earlier part:/ gotta wake up @ 8.15 again haha maybe i'll oversleep. (as usual)

crossing fingers abt sat. it'll be super kj, i swear.

#141 okay..

everyth's gna be fine?

haha, had a chat ard WS tdy and i think it was pretty great:D

lazy to post photos hahaha haven't been uploading anyth for a long long time, resulting in no change in user pics blah heh. feeling really really lazy nowadays, hopefully i'll get more rest & play during this hols? yeah. i need more sleep! luckily all th lectures are at 9plus, no need to crawl out of bed so earlyyyyyyy.

stuffs tht make my life more interesting!

had sakae buffet ytd, yay.
meeting th girls(guy) this fri, yay.
cheerleader outing this sat, yay.
sleepover(s) next week, yay.

& lots more other stuffs i hope, MAJOR YAY. omg i'm so damn slack lah how to pass mids like this?! think i'll be lucky if i'm not forced to drop any H2 aft this mids..

(recalls results)
bio: passed 1 failed 1, but bascially idk ANY single thing from genomics onwards.
chem: haven't passed a single lecture test. th one we got back tdy was th worst ever.
math: haven't passed a single test (lecture OR quiz)
econs: S E S E hahaha funny results, LOUSY still.

with results like this, mids are screwed unless i study damn hard & catch up with everyth now righttttt. but i can't help but slack. lots & lots.

& recently thr has been pretty much to talk abt right!! so funny, entertaining.. everyth lah haha it just makes me laugh so much at times. man, this is random but my right eye is super itchy now got a bad feeling tht tmr it'll be red & stuffs, zz. these 2 days, without going for bio lectures HAHA i feel like my life is much more productive. (actually not but it beats falling aslp during lectures-.-)

tdy i have nth much to do, slack slack slack hahaha shall go watch some stuffs ltr: rewatching GG (maybe), or other stuffs see if i manage to dl any other shows!

anw this month thr's sth to look forward to!! like really really look forward to!!*big grin*

heeheehee ♥

shall go bathe now, then watch my shows.

BYE!

p.s thanks for reading my blog. i think if you're reading this, you're probably th only one :(

#140 ♥ triton cheerleaders.

triton siao ah si bei siao!

tdy feels like its super long, seriously! morning prac, lessons, a little more prac, dressing up, waiting, hydrating, then performing! thereafter cheering, watching, camwhoring.. gosh super lots of stuffs lah tdy, took quite a number of photos also shall wait for people to post/whatever. those taken in schl all not with me also haha so i don't really need to post anyth okay:D

dinner was awesome, seriously:D our table damn noisy-.- and i think next time we don't tell other table (people) stuffs, ltr they offended by it while we think its funny. JUST LAUGH HAHA.

wanted to say more stuffs, but i fell asleep. shall go sleep now. feeling really bad for not contributing to GPP. thanks alot, my group. shall try to help more tmr!!

#139 seriously.

what am i doing with my life huh?? zz. i just wasted th whole of tdy.. UGHHHH. didn't do a single piece of work at all, guess i really have to do it tmr!

PMS-ing now i think, damn stupid haha.

thinking abt stuffs even when i'm bathing, it's tht stupid. came up with all th stuffs tht i don't wna think abt, but i still thought of anw. what you said, made me think even more. 1, seriously?
whatever.

true love's kiss, i love you. no matter what.

#138 so fragile.

it's really so easy to.. just end?

i don't know. okay, feeling 'sentimental' now, according to nick haha i just told him what i read abt. to me it feels kinda upsetting for some weird reasons i don't know why!

btw, got my dress. FINALLY OMG. everyone shall see it on concert day alright! & i just realised tht i haven't bought my court shoes so i think i shall just stick to using lynny's? yeah can't be bothered i hate court shoes anw they make my feet hurt):

marketplace epic-ness tdy, loved!

missed th hols feeling so so much, when all we had to do was just to walk ard, slack, chat, play! no fussing abt what work needs to be done, at most we just had to decide on which movie to watch etc! wna have all my hols back again.. and hang ard th city more often:D

sugar + cholesterol intake REALLY HIGHHHH tdy:/

reality: i need to get my stuffs done. stop failing tests (at this rate my worst fear will come true i hate myself for being so stupid)

#137 what about now?

gotta do so much this weekend.. needed to go to F21 to get my skirt just now but didn't in the end.

MUST GET IT BY TMRRRRR!

hmm, but tdy was good. it felt like i was back in pri schl all over again! photo-takings during first period and a half of math, then PE was just sitting in the shade chatting and recess ended with pizza, and shaken-up pepsi bottles which hissed during math lecture! the pizza made us feel like we were having a party, yknow those kind during pri schl whr everyone brought food?? haha yeah. then econs we had half a lesson free, chem was kinda dumb also didn't do much so it didn't matter tht i did only the first page of tutorial.

relaxing day. TGIF. but may's leaving, oh man. when you're used to having a class of 28, 27 just doesn't feel right.

i don't feel good now. therefore no pics are uploaded (i'm not tht efficient anw) shall just go to sleep soon and hope tht tmr will be a good day.

you'd better be nice to me tmr!(:

#136 OUTINGS!

HELLO HAVEN'T BEEN POSTING, COS I'M A BUSY PERSON:D HAHA SUPPOSED TO BE DOING PI NOW YET I'M KINDA PROCRASTINATING COS I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO CHANGE THE SECOND PART TO):

okay, i'm rubbish-ing now. i wna post lots of photos actually! all those tht we've taken tgt yay basically i've been seeing nick alot so we've been out pretty much & doing nice stuffs(: but now, every weekend is kinda just wasted away due to endless procrastination and attempts to catch up with th never-ending workload! plus next week's elections alr! suddenly i really feel like backing out from it, HOW??:/

i guess these few week's i'm gna be kept really busy: schl work, choir, & maybe th cheerleading stuffs also? hmm. hopefully everyth will be over sooooooon!

photos are uploading so slowlyyyyy, SIGH. i think i'm damn stupid. tht was random, but yeah. i've been failing almost all my tests..

B: one and only test so far & i got lowest in class i think:/ big fat U
C: quizzes were okay, lecture tests S U
M: U U U U? haha last one S
E: S E? S S? i duno leh i think its sth like tht..
GP: not sure which are th official tests!

okay now for th pictures (FINALLY!)

TEPPANYAKI! HEE HEE NICE NICE!(:

act cute xD

BREEZER FTW!!!

this day we went out for late late dinner (i forgot why.. WHY HUH??) then went to paragon supermarket to walk walk yay missed tht place so much hee.

SAKAE BUFFET!

new menu + lots & lots of fooooooood! i realise my photos are kinda in reverse order cos of th way i upload them but i'm kinda lazy to rearrange everyth!:X

CYCLING + CARTEL AFT 9!!!

heh th place with th lights at th side!!!(: heehee. like tht not very obvious, but th place's nice:D

@PIZZAHUTTTTT!

indulging in cheese.. cheese cheese cheese! hee. i rmb, th next day cos we went to church for easter, my mum made CHEESE SANDWICH for both of us gosh so dumb xP swimming plan FAIL, cos it was raining so much!

♥♥♥♥♥♥

we have endless memories to create;
i love you.