#233 change

Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.

really meaningful lyrics :)

jinni told me about this girl, and i went to read her blog. i thought she had the 'familiar face' but now i realise it's cos i've really seen her on Facebook before HAHA (she's a friend's friend)

i aspire to be someone like her, she's so accomplished. okay i just went to jinni's blog and realised she blogged about it on the way home from work. let me quote her; this girl is 'Smart, pretty enough, talented, knows what she wants, does what she likes, in a blissful relationship. Sounds like everything a girl should be.'

i want to be like that too. i want to be someone who people will feel proud knowing, and will look up to. that's my goal. i shall learn to be a better person in order to achieve my goal. i have to stop being so lazy and whiny about all the little things in life, and focus more on achieving big! oh i shall start by brushing up on my english. no more short forms anymore i shall spell everything out in full.. that seems so proper right ;) okay lame no idea what i'm going on about.

okay Nick totally made my day while i was working. he texted me in the afternoon (usually that will make me smile already) but what he told me was that he was booking out tomorrow morning!:D okay i know many of the Ninja people would have booked out tonight, but he was down for guard duty.. so it was supposed to be that he could only book out for 3 hours each on friday and saturday. RIDICULOUS I TELL YA. i was so prepared to have a lonely weekend followed by an even more lonely week cos he was going for field camp so the bookout was a good surprise^^

i have realised that no matter how good one's achievements are, one will never be satisfied. is this part of human nature? somehow no matter how successful one is, one will still be engulfed by a stream of insecurities which leave one feeling terrible about oneself and this subsequently leads to even higher expectations. am i even being coherent? i apologise for my terrible expression of thoughts, i have not written formally in a long time.

i want to practice being someone who is fluent in her thoughts :)

I STILL WANT TO GO OVERSEAS. hope the hotel 'atas sleepover' works out i really want something to look forward to! my mum has agreed to let me go for a short trip with Nick after his BMT :D but i'm afraid there may be complications arising from the application of university courses (interviews, tests etc) so nothing's decided yet! i want something to be decided SOON.

i'm taking such a long time for this post, due to THE PHONE CALL. going to pasir ris tmr at 11+, and tomorrow will be an afternoon to town with Nick! he's meeting the guys for dinner in town so i have to go back on my own i think. crap i just realised how horrible this plan is for me i hate taking the train alone i've been doing that so often lately due to work :(

shall try to meet other people!! and i think i can FINALLY collect my isetan pay tmr! YAYYY. stupid yj didn't pick up my calls her mum picked up and we talked for awhile hee so funny^^ maybe i can meet her for dinner tomorrow after her work?

oh wait, note to self: I NEED TO CALL ISETAN OFFICE IN THE MORNING TO MAKE SURE I CAN COLLECT MY PAY I DON'T WANT TO GO ALL THE WAY THERE FOR NOTHING. >:/

what a wordy post. sorry if it seems pretty pointless to you. perhaps no one even reads, oh well.

what will be, will be :)