#166 hungry. and sleepy.

pretty view. i want to go to paris right now and have a summer like that of blair & serena hehe. i know that was like th start of season only, but i still wna goooo! :)

so sleepy now seriously. fell asleep on sofa, felt so good. now i just crave for more.

anw its so upsetting to know that your group is th slowest for WR in class, w all others completing alr zz. sickening to th core sigh. but hopefully it'll turn out fine cos it'll be other people marking! (not someone who tells other groups different things from what she tells us -.-) TMR, TMR! LAST DAY ALR WE CAN DO IT! i really hope that we can!

shall go sleep now alr. fam guy's showing, so cute. why charlie & choc factory become all beer brian and peter.. dumb ttm hehe they're floating away and away!

shall go sleep now alr they're farting so much on tv :X fake oompa loompas!

#165 FML, REALLY.

i am so so so tired of life. about how everyone treats everyone else. about how things turn out to be so damn horrible. about how i'm being treated. wtf this week sucks ttm okay so many many bad things happen to me alr i just wna get everyth over and done with now yknow.

and nobody even cares about wad happens to me. not even you.

i really can't believe that you just walked out of schl and nv even bothered to tell me. excuses like 'i didn't know where were you' just don't cut it cos my bag was freakin in class okay. its just cos you don't even bother.

fuck my life i don't give a shit abt anyth anymore. don't talk to me.

#164 FML, kinda.

today kinda sucked. seriously.

PW sucks cos its making ties so strained, and it's a horrible feeling:/

do i go for briefing on sat? haven't replied leader yet how how how!! its freakin at henderson sec some really hard-to-go place, at bukit merah/timah or sth:X

wrote my script from scratch zz, cos i lost th copy tht i made ytd FML. then i realised tht this pretty clip of mine broke in my bag, double FML. came home to take a nap, half hour stretched to 2 hours:/ edited slides, wrote script, surfed randomly till now AND I'M SLEEPY AGAIN. didn't even do anyth much uh so stupid i feel sad abt this cos i'm totally wasting my life away! :(

hoping tht tmr will be a better day, but i don't see how it will be uh seriously.

i still haven't approached ms hua, w kit & jason. tmr's 2nd OP dry run, i'm hoping for th best! hopefully WR's okay too.

needa stay till 5 in schl tmr, life sucks.

#163 Life as we know it

cute ttm haha! sophie! love love love her expressions she's super charming ah, really! melts hearts yknow (Y)

okay anw i left schl early tdy, at abt 2! supposed to run some errands but ended up not really accomplishing much:/ had pastamania (worst meal thr ever tdy blah) and waited around till 7 for th movieeee! GV theatres are cold cold cold i don't likey! had extra shirt and shorts around me hehe funny max i pretended that those made up a jacket.

super regretting food choices i had made tdy, fried food made my throat feel like crap.

it feels horrible now also uh sian.

oh no lappy to schl tmr, heavy max. so i shall just leave it home and just bring glee w me to schl as a source of entertainment if need be. first 3 eps shld be enough righttt! uh please don't laugh at me just cos i haven't watched glee haha.

had our first ever OP dry run tdy. uh it was okay, i guess. not good, not bad. just slides to edit, yada yada. hopefully everyth turns out fineee!

i am so so so so so sleepy now. bye.

#162 spag brained.

i'm sucha typical spag brained girl-.-

original plan was to blog & do OP, then go sleep alr cos thr's PW @koi's hse tmr! but th clever me went to do other stuffs and am doing OP so slowly tht at this rate i'm never going to be able to sleep sigh. anw i really wna change th background colour!! shall ask them tmr. cos th background doesn't let me use my fonts hahaha! can't use all th pink/purple/turquoise colours also, so sad! dull dull dull manzxz.

shall go sleep sooooon. feeling like i'm wasting my life away, once again :(

once upon a time, my life was exciting.

i'm a lousy friend i guess.

#161 thank God

i'm counting my blessings, and appreciating God now.

so thankful tht i managed to scrape through! like seriously borderline uh haha. guess i'm pathetic, relying on moderation instead of myself:/ FML huh i shld buck up, and not let MrTam/MsLee down. thankyou for believing in me, and believing tht i absolutely can do better than this. & i won't have to break news like wad happened in mids.

moderation rocks. lets me stay in 10S111 :)

anwwww, nt going to schl tmr, YAY. hopefully afternoon would be awesome? idk uh i have no idea what to doooo! gotta send sean my part now, put it in koi's comp instead of his.

my life's boring now, ahaha. just hoping tht everyth goes well! i shld just make th best out of everyth now.

my tummy feels funny :(

& i feel sad, if.................. i don't even wna type it all out cos i don't want those stuffs to happen. thr's even more but i really don't wna say anyth. i have this weird belief tht if i don't say anyth, it won't come true hehe. hopefully it works! *cross fingers cross toes*

bye gna go bathe now omg its so late alrrrr but i still haven't bathed.

i wish i have a friend who is as dear as how serena is to blair and vice versa.

#160 half half.

SIGH. sth's got me pretty sad.. but nobody knows why. i just think too much i guess, but nobody can tell uh so i guess it doesn't really matter.

today, it felt good after school. i stopped thinking so much. but th thoughts just like to keep flooding back to me FML. feeling like this really sucks. rant rant rant i hate myself for complaining so muchhh.

i wish i could always be th happy girl tht i seem to be usually.

oh well. and, on a side note, I'M FAT. ginormous, to be exact. i feel so FAT FAT FAT tdy's a 'alvina's a fat and ugly and horrible person' day.

i feel sad :(

i'm an anti-social freak. sorry for not replying. although probably no one tht i text would even see this.

i'm just hoping tht things go well this week. and forever. let's go sleep now. goodnight world. i really hope tht tmr will be a better day. i have to go to God now, i've not been to Him for too long.

but you put on quite a show, really had me going.

#159 i want to be with you till th sun falls down from th sky.

hopefully not too much.

my brain's in a mess, fml. told a few people haha and now my brain's more cleared out uh i guess. hopefully tmr will be good, i wna do lots of things tht i wna do, ie. WATCH SHOWS! sad tht i still gotta wait so long for VD, and even longer for GG! sigh.


heehee serena/damon! idk why i went to get these 2 photos suddenly to post here:X dumb righttt but i really wna watch uh once they go on break i'm gonna rewatch everyth if i have spare time!

i'm tired every single day WHYWHYWHY! i wish schl starts later. NO WAIT. i wish tht THERE'S NO SCHL UNLESS WE NEED TO SEE TEACHER FOR PW. no point to go to schl everyday till 5 right-.- sucks to be in MJ seriously. makes my life screwed up..

i feel like i have no life of any sort now. like i'm just wasting my life away. before promos it was all about thinking how after promos it'll relaxing and stuffs but now tht its really aft promos, i feel like i'm really just wasting lots of my time awayyyy~

okay enough ranting, shall just go sleep NOW. BYE.
it hurts just thinking of that, and no one knows.

#158 W.T.S

AHAHA SO CUTEE i want a mini schnauzer (not shown above)! cute ttm seriously :)

okay so here are my results: SUDDC
what i wanted: SEDED

i guess all subjs except for CHEM, i'm contented with. wtfreak man i really just wanted to pass chem right and what i got in return is a big fat U. damn, like tht i shldn't even bother to study so much for it right i think i studied th most for chem you know :( th rest are like just one day before, (esp econs thank God for sucha thing called promo package) and def less time spent than on chem.

and those who maybe fail one subj or sth, (not in MJ also counted) quit complaining and proclaiming tht you slack blah blah just to cover up a fail when you obviously got work hard-.- nvm. this is probably quite random but i'm just sick of *'s claims its damn turn-off i swear.

and now PW's just screwing with my brain i feel so useless yknow can't even do simple parts properly everyth's just wrong; really duno wad's wrong with me:/ so sorry to those 2. to th other 2, i'll just be really grateful if individual parts are all completed on your own tyvm :)

i think i'm a bitch nowadays haha. funny much, but funny-faces are just so entertaining! self-entertainment at home nv fails to keep me amused.

something's lacking in my life. but i can't put a finger to what it is.

CRAP I NV GET TO WATCH VD TNIGHT AGAIN I'M STUCK AT S2 EP 3 ONLYYY. watched only a third of it so far:/ what have i been doing w my time? my pw not even done and i'm not even watching my shows for th past 2hrs since i got home!

but at least sakae was good, i love you ♥

i really really wna do all those stuffs, like everyth tht we have planned before! maybe you forgot all those alr :( but i rmb everyth! thr's so much to do, push to hols=sure won't finish again sigh. somemore this hols MJ sure make me study if i manage to keep 4H2 wts. plus choir plus (HOPEFULLY, *CROSS FINGERS CROSS TOES* ms hua allows!) OGL stuffs schedule sure quite massive right! but i wna make th best of whatever i can get out of JC life alr lah if not my life really sucks.

okay okayyyy omg i need to get back to PW alr wts i wna sleep alr i'm so sleepy tmr i'm just gonna disappoint them again i guess so sorry. but i really can't find anyth to substantiate, google kinda sucks at th points tht we really need it..

BYE. SHALL BLOG SOON.

#157 sealed.

think i posted this before somewhere down there in one of th posts before uh. but i can't help it I REALLY NEED ONE.

feel like my life's screwed up alr. all thanks to promos.

everyone's relieved that they've passed subjects here there and everywhere, or at least S huh. i've gotten back 2 subjects: 1 S 1 U. FML ttm i swear i feel so demoralised now and although i really didn't want to *** in class, i couldn't help but *** in class :(

great willpower right. disappeared to th secluded bench area just at th corner of th class. called elis to *** somemore omggg. can't stand myself zz.

well, also got laptop case tdy, pretty! haha not as nice as th jap one uh but i'm happy :)

but i think i'm an idiot, left my bottle at 77th street counter when i was trying th case thr zomg-.- felt so embarrassed when i had to go back to get it!

life pretty much sucks alot for me now, and thr's cca + lots of pw periods tmr YAY. sigh th internet's not helping me AT ALL why can't i find any stats on vending machines in SG? :/ no stats, how to give evidence to th rabbit zz.

i want to keep my 4H2s. i promise to work hard, God.
i pray for peace in all my friends, and for myself too.
Amen.

i really need to learn to control my emotions more. i'm such a loser right. can't get myself to be optimistic anymore. i'm letting my parents down. so so very much.

i should just disappear.