#152 AHHH/ IT'S OVERRR!

zomg was supposed to wake up at 8 AND START STUDYING CHEM (i don't know a shit abt chem bonding damn terrible at it too failed th last test like *!@% alr) but i got distracted by OTHER STUFFS when i wanted to log on to IVLE & now i'm here blogging, aft my latest distraction. huge distraction, SWEAR i'm never ever gna fall for tht distraction again, during times when i need my focus

I NEED TO STUDY NOWWWW~ chem bonding redox gases at least! NOW NOW NOW! 1 hour left before i need to prepare (lunch, bathe, slack--again)

BYE. i hate wasting time thinking abt useless stuffs.

[ADD ON, ITS 11.04PM NOW]

okay, chem's over WTS I SHALL STOP THINKING ABT IT COS I KNOW I FAILED THe PAPER ALR thr's this chance tht i might just get 0 for th paper i am perfectly serious i think only jinni knows how it feels like. sigh, depressing ttm.

then we tried to celebrate lynny's birthday, dumb sia haha shld have snapped a photo of her look DAMN EPIC teehee she was so blur/shocked!:D hee.

'oh, no wonder you had to see doctor. no wonder you had tuition. no wonder you had cramps.' HAHAHA.

damn, i know its aft exams alr but seriously i shldn't be wasting my time doing that.

i hate myself sometimes, seriously. i just make myself upset:/

i wish you can hold me now, make me feel like i'm the most important in th whole wide world.
i wish someone understands me.

#151 i know it.

hmm.

watching WC on th internet and its lagging. thr's freaking MYE tmr. and i'm not studying. bet MJ population's mugging their ass off. zz wts i don't care alr. just hoping tht th paper will be simple enough for me to handle at least half, so tht i can pass.

wts i feel like crap now.

i need to kill the headache before it kills me. i shld go sleep now.

hmm.

anw, i really feel like crap now.
i know it whenever you lie. and it breaks my heart tht little more whenever it happens. i keep silent about it. i don't say anyth. but inside me, it all just gets very screwed up.
sometimes i just wna forget everything bad, and only rmb th good.

#150 story!

Let me just share with you the story of these two little kids. This boy and this girl, are in love. As young as they are, it’s incredible how they treat each other, how much they want to be together all the time, how they never get tired of one another, it’s crazy.

My mom works at a preschool, and these two kids go there. William and Eva. They are about four or five I believe.

Eva goes to school everyday, but William only goes every other day. The little girl’s mom told my mom that every morning when Eva gets in the car she says, “Mommy, is today a William day?” And when it is she sighs with relief in her little car seat.

When they sit in class on the floor listening to story time, the little boy strokes her arm. He tucks her hair behind her ear and smiles at her, he helps her with her coloring. This is all during a day in preschool.

I saw him at the school picnic, and he was walking around holding her hand. She said, “I want some cake, William.” He replied, “Okay, Eva. Let’s go get some together.”

I couldn’t help but take a picture of them. I hope they get married someday. They make me so happy. Even if he’s four years old, he knows how to treat a girl better than any guy my age.

sweet eh? hahaha(:

taking a break off math, though i've only completed.. ONE question! damn bored of studying alr zz though i've barely started:/ SIGH.

remember this?? i miss this so much yknow, hahaha. childhood memories.. aww.

shall get back to doing math soon, i really duno how to do any shit for math sigh. its amath all over again, just tht this wld be even worse i suppose. i really really need to focus.

C'MON, FOCUS NING!

5 hours ltr.. zomg i still haven't done anyth constructive WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME:/

sigh.

shall just aim low for now. zz. BYE.

#149 make me smile?

PRONTO.

wts. i feel pretty terrible now, my life's so screwed up:/ haven't studied for mids, how can i even pass anyth? crap lah one of my stupid emotions-run-wild moment, again. watching tv/using fb/playing neopets now, WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE~ i'm completely screwing it up lah aft this i shall turn off th comp till 11plus when i need to do sth alright. sigh.

but th tv's so distracting. turn it off? but i wna watch:/ no self-discipline, i know.

i wna eat sth nice again. zomg i'm like a fat pig alr but i've still got endless cravings which i succumb to. crap sia how am i ever going to lose weight?? i wna lose weight so badly yknow:/ but i'm having hunger pangs now. aft reading ella enchanted (again), i swear, thr's this curse placed on me: when i'm hungry i feel dizzy & stuffs and i'll only feel normal aft i eat! hahaha. as in my dizzy is more serious kind lah, blah.

and that was the day that I promised i'd never sing of love if it does not exist.
somehow, it seems really different.
do i love you too much? i wonder if you love me as much.