Chapter One
It's A Group 'Thang'
It's A Group 'Thang'
Listen up gentlemen. I'm going to tell you the big secret right now. I'm going to unlock the vault. So pay attention.
You always ask why we(women) go to the bathroom together in groups.
What could be doing in there? you wonder.
Plotting to take over Wall Street?
The Military Industrial Complex?
Does Hillary Clinton have us all in a huddle? 'Okay ladies, here's what you're going to do. Every single one of you is going to vote me for president.'
Well, the answer gentlemen, is yes.
Yes, we're plotting against you.
We should not be left to our own devices.
We are very, very dangerous.
So, how did this group bathroom phenomenon start? Did women in hunter gathere societies leave the campfire to find the nearest tree together? Yes gentlemen, i believe they did.
That's why all the cavemen are seen in the cave paintings scratching their heads. They're wondering what's taking the women so long behind the trees.
You don't understand why women go to the bathroom in groups because for you, a trip to the urinal is like a trip to the mall. It's get in, get out, Baddabing, baddaboom. At the urinal, there's no eye contact and little conversation. There's no creativity, no color. No flair. It's not a cocktail party in the men's room. (Unless of course, you're in a bathroom at a gay bar- then, it actually is a cocktail party.)
The only reason you got o the bathroom, men, is because You Have To Go To The Bathroom. You are men, so you're basic this way.
We're women. We are complex, sensuous, gorgeous creatures. Sometimes we go to the bathroom and we don't even need to go to the bathroom. Capiche?
No, you probably don't understand this, gentlemen, because you've never, in your entire lives, uttered the words: 'Hey man, I'm going to the john. Care to join me?' But then again, you've never seen Queen Anne chairs in your bathroom.
You may be shocked to learn that women's bathrooms have more furniture than Pottery Barn. We've got couches, chair, and baby changing tables. You name it, we've got it.
Broadway theater bathrooms are especially well appointed. Now you know why it takes us so long to return to our cramped, second level mezzanine seats. Why should we go back to the nosebleed section when we can hear Sarah Brightman just fine, lounging on a devonshire in the women's bathroom?
Do you think it's possible that women's communal bathroom behaviour results simply from the presence of comfortable seating? If you guys had furniture in the john, would you hang out? Confide in each other? Share bad hair stories?
I guess until someone shoves a loveseat in your bathroom, we'll never ever know..
haha its quite dumb lah, but rather funny, if you read th whole book , maybe i'll post another chapt another time whee :D oh, & i think i'll be eating at sakae ltr yay(: